Pinterest, homeschooling and scrapbooks. Just a few things that get my stomach all in knots. I work and play, keep my kids’ favorite blankets clean, put matching socks on their feet and feed them organic crap pretty much every day and until recently I really thought that I was doing a pretty good job. Until I started reading and seeing other people–people I used to have shots and breadsticks with on Friday nights–post all kinds of really cool stuff they do for their kids. And it makes me feel…nervous.
I mean who has the time to collect, organize AND put a pretty spin on all the stuff their kids draw and say. The last printed picture I received was an ultrasound of my now 10 month old daughter. I do back-up iphoto and I did make a really cool 1 year video for my son’s 1st birthday but then I kind of got sucked into the mom vortex and after they go to bed all I really want to do is watch HGTV and drink a glass of wine.
So I worry. Will my daughter or my 27 month old son look at me in a couple months and wonder when they said their first words. Or what it was. Or want to look at a collection of every piece of artwork they’ve done with their little greasy fingerprints to date. And if I can’t rattle it off or find said sacred artifact in less than five minutes will they think I suck?
I wasn’t worried before, but now that everyone publicly documents and shares how great they are at making their kids look great are mine eventually going to compare me (in real time) to all the other mother’s out there and wonder what I do with all that spare time? (They do realize I don’t have spare time or I really would try to wash my hair more than 3 times a week….right?)
And speaking of spare time, a friend just started homeschooling her kids wich of course also made me feel guilty. IF I could find enough patience to 1. be a stay at home mom and 2. convince my kids they want to spend the entire day learning from me then what would they learn? Outside of bargain hunting at TJ Maxx and how to cater a party Costco style, let’s face it–I use spell check, google and calculators.
No one told me the incredible amount of guilt I would feel just trying to keep coconut milk in the fridge and my kids from wanting to be the nanny more than me.
So I started a blog. It’s sort of a reverse soap box. Because it just loosens the knots a little to say all of this out loud.